Tuesday, July 06, 2004

The Demon Inside

When people ask me about myself, my typical reaction is "full-blooded Scorpio". But, for all those not sign-savvy, I'd like to explain.

I personally have 4 of 10 signs in Scorpio. On top of that, my chart is very concentrated in one quadrant. Enough, technical talk. This means I'm very strongly influenced by the traits of a few number of signs. Now that doesn't mean I'm boring or constantly the same way.

Let's see... imagine a bartender blending a drink. Instead of mixing a gentle blend of alcohol and miscellaneous ingredients, he fills the glass to the rim with Grey Goose Vodka, Amaretto and Tequila. Unknowingly you drink half the glass in one gulp before running for the porcelain god. The drink? It's me.

So what does this elaborate metaphor matter? Well, boys and girls, Scorpios are known for two very negative traits: bottling up feelings until they explode and need for vengeance. And seeing that the scorpion poison coerces through my veins, I'm very susceptible to these flaws.

If I ever feel betrayed, ignored, left behind... I have an awful tendency to hide my feelings about the situation. That is until too many occurrences build up. I begin to see red and I can feel my heart begin to race. I drop subtle but stinging hints into my demeanor or address to those I feel have wronged me. I slowly let doubt and fear creep into their mind. Just when I feel them hurting, I explode with a self-serving diatribe.


Now you begin to understand this hellish existence. If I knew another way to be, I would be. If I could change the feelings that compel me to drive away others, I would change. But the sad truth is... I don't.

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